Pain

You know people make me feel like a whiny little brat when I keep saying how much pain I am always in. How my back hurts so bad I'm almost in tears half the time, or my feet are so swollen I can't stand for more than 10 minutes before I can literally feel them swelling more, or how I can't even clap my hands or make a fist because I am so sore.

People make me feel like a little baby when I ask for them to rub my back because I am so sore, or I cringe when they move to fast because it makes me move my back. I don't have just regular pregnancy back pain and swelling...I have that plus my fibro pain and I'm getting so angry and upset with EVERYONE because no one is taking it seriously!!

It's so frustrating because my doctor won't even do anything about it!! He said to get massages by people in the house but when I ask no one will do it but Greg and usually when Greg does it he is pissed off or irritated about it or whatever. Which okay fine I get, no one likes to massage people but guess what!?!?!?!?!?!? I DON'T LIKE BEING IN PAIN and I would freaking massage him every day if he was in as much pain as I am...

Then when I make a comment about how he isn't doing it or whatever, he makes comments like I go to school and work and have shit loads of home work and I'm tired and my hands hurt so I'm sorry I don't want to massage your back! It makes me feel like shit!! I'M SORRY I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M IN PAIN!!

I wish my stupid asshole doctor would just send me to a massage therapist or something that way we all win. Because on nights like tonight, where I just want to cry because I am in so much pain, and no one will help me by rubbing my back for 5 minutes. I just get pissed and want to lay down and go to sleep. Which I also can't do on days where I am in this much pain because I can't move or get comfortable!!

This is my life on a daily basis, pregnant or not. The only difference is that when I am not pregnant I'm popping my pain meds left and right!!

I just want to cry....