Well I had another law office call me on Friday but apparently I missed the call. My cell didn't ring or anything and I found the voice mail on there yesterday. So come tomorrow morning I will call them back... I'm still waiting for the doctors office to call, obviously they won't call today though. So hopefully they call tomorrow and tell me what the hell happened with Elijah so I know what to do and not to do.
I thought I might have been pregnant a few days ago, I was a few days late on my period, even though it was only my second one since I lost Elijah and I was sick to my stomach for like almost a week. But I got it on Saturday so obviously I'm not. I was hoping I was but at the same time not wanting to be until I find out what happened this last time.
Saturday and Sunday, as well as today, I have sat here and done nothing. I've decided that Dean, the guy who runs Nancys, which is the place where I was supposed to start working like a month ago, is a jerk! He has a bunch of 15 and 16 yr old girls that have come back to work and they aren't even out of school yet, but a 22 yr old woman who actually has bills to pay can't come back. It pisses me off, he keeps telling Greg, she can come back soon, but I don't see it happening. I have bills, I need a job, and instead of bringing back someone who needs the work he has a bunch of kids come in and work that spend their money on drugs and booze. It's bullshit!
I filled out an application for a Family Dollar that they are building here, supposedly it's supposed to be up in about 5 or 6 weeks I think. I don't know if I'll get that job, but either way I'm going to fill out applications for a bunch of places, Greg said he could take me to and from work, since I refuse to get my license. So I have a wide range of places to find a job, which is nice. But that will obviously have to wait until tomorrow since most places are closed today or will be closing early.
Something fell off of moms car last night, very weird. But she can still drive it to and from work, which is only about 3 minutes from the house. So I guess it's not that big of a deal. I might have to cancel my doctors appointment on Thursday because I don't have my co-pay money for the appointment. You know because I HAVEN'T STARTED WORK AND ALL, bastard...
Anywho, I'm going to go find pick up the house since Kristine isn't doing the crap she's supposed to. She's out of school and now all of a sudden she won't do shit around the house. I can't wait for her and Josh to move out, it'll be a lot more peaceful.
Happy Blogging!!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
MY night last night!!
I first want to thank you for your support and comments. He's a good guy, this is just one huge flaw. And trust me I won't put up with it if he continues. But last night we came to an agreement...I was to go out with him last night and he will be coming home tonight.
When we first got to his dads house, which is right across the street from the St. Marys Fest. that goes on every year around this time. That is where the beer tent was where we were supposed to spend all night at. Anyway, when we first got there I was still angry with him, naturally, but we compromised so I was trying to stick to my end of it. We sat around his house for awhile and then decided to stop over at the beer tent.
The main people that worked with us in Mass were there. So we sat had a couple beers and talked to them for awhile and then all of a sudden all my friends, people I haven't seen since before I got married, showed up. I used to spend every day with these guys, I was excited to see them. We hung out for a little longer and then decided to go bk to his house because there was a stash of beer over there to drink, it was much cheaper doing it this way, trust me!
When we got back over there everyone was gone...well all Gregs friends, so we stayed and hung out with mine. :) They were playing beer pong in the beer tent run by a bunch of people in the late 50s early 60s, pretty funny stuff. By midnight when they closed I was covered in beer from everyone swaying around and tripping over the flat concrete. I was buzzed pretty good myself, but no where near these guys. And they were heading to another place to drink, a bar about a 1/2 a mile down the road.
They kept asking if I wanted to go, and to tell the truth I did a little. I mean I was tired and I wasn't going to drink anymore, because I am not a drinker anyway, but being with my old friends made me feel like I didn't miss out on anything. Like I was back to being 17 and nothing changed. They looked to Greg who said he just wanted to go back to the house because he had to work. So we did. And you know how people get when they drink, they start those heart to hearts right when you lay down to sleep. He always does that, I don't mind it, it's the only time he tells me how he feels besides saying "I love you" everyday.
Anyway we finally went to sleep and I woke up at like 6 or something. I was pissed. I don't sleep well in any bed but my own...So here I am sitting at home, wanting so badly to crawl into my own bed and sleep the day away because I am so tired. But I won't. Mom will be home in a few hours, I have to clean the house because its trashed, which pisses me off because no one else even thought of doing it, I gotta take a shower, and then decide if I want to go back out with Greg tonight for a couple hours. He wants me to come out because all his friends from around here, the ones we hang out with all the time, are coming out tonight, and quite possibly my lovely soon to be ex-husband, haha. That's almost worth going right there, that would be a priceless moment!!
Anywho, I don't know if I'm going to go though, Greg said he'd be home around 11ish which isn't too late but I don't know. I guess it depends on how I feel after I drink this lovely cup of coffee in front of me! :D
Happy Blogging!!!
When we first got to his dads house, which is right across the street from the St. Marys Fest. that goes on every year around this time. That is where the beer tent was where we were supposed to spend all night at. Anyway, when we first got there I was still angry with him, naturally, but we compromised so I was trying to stick to my end of it. We sat around his house for awhile and then decided to stop over at the beer tent.
The main people that worked with us in Mass were there. So we sat had a couple beers and talked to them for awhile and then all of a sudden all my friends, people I haven't seen since before I got married, showed up. I used to spend every day with these guys, I was excited to see them. We hung out for a little longer and then decided to go bk to his house because there was a stash of beer over there to drink, it was much cheaper doing it this way, trust me!
When we got back over there everyone was gone...well all Gregs friends, so we stayed and hung out with mine. :) They were playing beer pong in the beer tent run by a bunch of people in the late 50s early 60s, pretty funny stuff. By midnight when they closed I was covered in beer from everyone swaying around and tripping over the flat concrete. I was buzzed pretty good myself, but no where near these guys. And they were heading to another place to drink, a bar about a 1/2 a mile down the road.
They kept asking if I wanted to go, and to tell the truth I did a little. I mean I was tired and I wasn't going to drink anymore, because I am not a drinker anyway, but being with my old friends made me feel like I didn't miss out on anything. Like I was back to being 17 and nothing changed. They looked to Greg who said he just wanted to go back to the house because he had to work. So we did. And you know how people get when they drink, they start those heart to hearts right when you lay down to sleep. He always does that, I don't mind it, it's the only time he tells me how he feels besides saying "I love you" everyday.
Anyway we finally went to sleep and I woke up at like 6 or something. I was pissed. I don't sleep well in any bed but my own...So here I am sitting at home, wanting so badly to crawl into my own bed and sleep the day away because I am so tired. But I won't. Mom will be home in a few hours, I have to clean the house because its trashed, which pisses me off because no one else even thought of doing it, I gotta take a shower, and then decide if I want to go back out with Greg tonight for a couple hours. He wants me to come out because all his friends from around here, the ones we hang out with all the time, are coming out tonight, and quite possibly my lovely soon to be ex-husband, haha. That's almost worth going right there, that would be a priceless moment!!
Anywho, I don't know if I'm going to go though, Greg said he'd be home around 11ish which isn't too late but I don't know. I guess it depends on how I feel after I drink this lovely cup of coffee in front of me! :D
Happy Blogging!!!
Friday, May 28, 2010
One more strike and he's out! Seriously!!!
I'm very irritated. I'm pissed off, I'm hurt, and I seriously want to punch Greg in the face! Wednesday night he made a comment about going on tonight and asked if I wanted to go, I said sure. And then he said well we are gonna be staying the night at my dads house so we can get wasted. (I'm using my own words here) I don't stay away from my house, I do not sleep in any bed unless its my own. Or unless its absolutely necessary.
His dads house is 10 minutes away from ours, why in the hell would I want to stay there when I'm so close to home. I never stay out and he knows it! I have too many problems, I feel sick all the time and if I don't feel well I'd like to be in my own house and not in someone elses where I would feel completely awkward. He knows all this but for some reason he seriously still expected me to go.
I've mentioned before that Greg agreed to not drink unless I was there because he turns into this huge flirt! Well I'm not going tonight and he's still going out to get drunk with all his little buddies and stay the night out at his "dads" house. And then do it all over again tomorrow night too!
Now I'm not just pissed about the fact that he's going out to get drunk when he always said he wouldn't drink unless I was around. I'm pissed because I feel that since we are in an adult relationship, you don't get completely shit faced to the point where you can't dive 10 minutes to come home to your girlfriend. You go out for a few hours hang out and a couple beers, but come the hell home! I'm pissed because he's staying out not once, but twice in a row, when he knows how much I hate it!
I have barely spoken to him since Wednesday night. We fought yesterday and I gave him his freaking way so that I don't have to deal with him acting like a crazy ass because he couldn't go! It's so rude how he's not taking my feelings into consideration here. He doesn't give a shit that I'm angry and upset and hurt because he's being a dick and doing whatever the hell he wants to without thinking of me.
I told him from day one, before we even started dating that I hated when he drinks. I told him I would not be with him unless he quit. So he said he would. Then a few months later it was, "well I'll drink once in a while." then it was, "I'll only drink with you around." Now he's just going out to get drunk no matter how I feel about it or what I say about it! I can't stand him right now! I don't want to look at him, I don't want to talk to him!!
Last night he kept tugging on my arm, trying to play with me. What the hell is he thinking? I even told the selfish prick not to expect me to be in any form of a good mood with him anytime soon, and yet he's going to sit there and mess with me? It took all my mite not to turn around and start freaking yelling!!!!!!!!
As you can see I'm very very angry and upset!!! More and more he's started to do shit that Julian did to me. I will not put up with another 7 years of stupid shit that I don't deserve to go through! I more strike and I am finished, seriously!!!! I don't deserve this kind of treatment! I want someone who will choose ME over drinking or pot or whatever the hell their drug of choice is! Not someone who doesn't even take my feelings into consideration!!
I'm done, I don't want to talk anymore...I'll just end up talking in circles anyway...I'm going to try and find something calming to do before I end up on the news for beating the hell out of my boyfriend.
P.s. I still haven't talked to the doctor yet, about the results, but I'll keep you all posted!!!
His dads house is 10 minutes away from ours, why in the hell would I want to stay there when I'm so close to home. I never stay out and he knows it! I have too many problems, I feel sick all the time and if I don't feel well I'd like to be in my own house and not in someone elses where I would feel completely awkward. He knows all this but for some reason he seriously still expected me to go.
I've mentioned before that Greg agreed to not drink unless I was there because he turns into this huge flirt! Well I'm not going tonight and he's still going out to get drunk with all his little buddies and stay the night out at his "dads" house. And then do it all over again tomorrow night too!
Now I'm not just pissed about the fact that he's going out to get drunk when he always said he wouldn't drink unless I was around. I'm pissed because I feel that since we are in an adult relationship, you don't get completely shit faced to the point where you can't dive 10 minutes to come home to your girlfriend. You go out for a few hours hang out and a couple beers, but come the hell home! I'm pissed because he's staying out not once, but twice in a row, when he knows how much I hate it!
I have barely spoken to him since Wednesday night. We fought yesterday and I gave him his freaking way so that I don't have to deal with him acting like a crazy ass because he couldn't go! It's so rude how he's not taking my feelings into consideration here. He doesn't give a shit that I'm angry and upset and hurt because he's being a dick and doing whatever the hell he wants to without thinking of me.
I told him from day one, before we even started dating that I hated when he drinks. I told him I would not be with him unless he quit. So he said he would. Then a few months later it was, "well I'll drink once in a while." then it was, "I'll only drink with you around." Now he's just going out to get drunk no matter how I feel about it or what I say about it! I can't stand him right now! I don't want to look at him, I don't want to talk to him!!
Last night he kept tugging on my arm, trying to play with me. What the hell is he thinking? I even told the selfish prick not to expect me to be in any form of a good mood with him anytime soon, and yet he's going to sit there and mess with me? It took all my mite not to turn around and start freaking yelling!!!!!!!!
As you can see I'm very very angry and upset!!! More and more he's started to do shit that Julian did to me. I will not put up with another 7 years of stupid shit that I don't deserve to go through! I more strike and I am finished, seriously!!!! I don't deserve this kind of treatment! I want someone who will choose ME over drinking or pot or whatever the hell their drug of choice is! Not someone who doesn't even take my feelings into consideration!!
I'm done, I don't want to talk anymore...I'll just end up talking in circles anyway...I'm going to try and find something calming to do before I end up on the news for beating the hell out of my boyfriend.
P.s. I still haven't talked to the doctor yet, about the results, but I'll keep you all posted!!!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Nervous...
Well the doctors office just called me, yes the one I was trying to sue. But it was the nurse and doctor that I like. Anyway they called to tell me that my placenta report is finally in. I couldn't make it to the appointment they asked me to come in for so I asked if they could do it over the phone. She said she doesn't see a reason why they can't but she is going to check with the doctor and have her call me back.
I'm so nervous. I don't know what I'm expecting them to say exactly, maybe that I can't have children because something will always go wrong at one point in the pregnancy. Or that I will never be able to have them period. Or maybe I can have them but I'll but under so much observation...I don't I'm scared to find out.
Once they call and give me the report I will blog and let you all know what was said. Please think good thoughts...I need to be a mother, that is what I was born to do. I have no other dreams or aspirations. Having a family is all I have ever wanted...It can't be taken away from me.
I'm so nervous. I don't know what I'm expecting them to say exactly, maybe that I can't have children because something will always go wrong at one point in the pregnancy. Or that I will never be able to have them period. Or maybe I can have them but I'll but under so much observation...I don't I'm scared to find out.
Once they call and give me the report I will blog and let you all know what was said. Please think good thoughts...I need to be a mother, that is what I was born to do. I have no other dreams or aspirations. Having a family is all I have ever wanted...It can't be taken away from me.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Pogo is my obsession
The lady from the lawyers office called yesterday. She said because there isn't really any proof that Elijah would have survived if they brought me in they couldn't help me. She was very nice and apologized and said she really wishes that she could help me. I'm not mad, I'm disappointed, but I kind of already figured that would be the outcome. I still have an appointment on Friday to talk to another lawyer, I doubt they can help me either, but it's worth a try.
I'm going to keep trying unless I'm told that absolutely no one will help me. This would be a different situation if I lived in a different state, Michigans laws are so screwed up it's not even funny.
I don't know if I mentioned this already but I have to wait until Greg gets out of school to get pregnant again. So that's like 3 years. I hate the idea, but I don't have a choice now do I? My eggs can't make a baby on their own... So that sucks for me!!
I "should" be starting at Nancys again soon, I quote "Should" because I have been told that since like April... I'm getting so sick of not being able to help pay for bills and food and all that. I clean Daddys house every other week and he gives me $20 but that doesn't really help anything. I'm going to have to cancel my doctors appointment again because I probably won't have the money for it by the 3rd since I still haven't started work yet... This is getting ridiculous.
I just teamed up with Josh and cleaned the house so no one else has to today. I had to make a chore list because everyone was bitching everytime they were told to clean something so now everyone has their own days where they do stuff. It's working really well. And occasionally, like today, someone will do all the work and every one else gets the "day off" so to speak... Anyway, I'm going to go play on Pogo.com
If you haven't played pogo before, you must go make an account, it's free. Unless you get Club Pogo like I have, which is much better. No ads and you win badges for each game you play and also get "jackpot" spins where you can actually win real money. I pay $5 a month or you can do $40 a year. Either way it's well worth the money. If you do decide to play pogo, add me as a friend, Nolie0804
Okay now that I've made myself sound like an ad agency trying to push pogo on people, I'm going to return to my beloved game site and play all day long. Since I have nothing else to do.
Happy Blogging, and hopefully Happy Pogo Playing! :)
I'm going to keep trying unless I'm told that absolutely no one will help me. This would be a different situation if I lived in a different state, Michigans laws are so screwed up it's not even funny.
I don't know if I mentioned this already but I have to wait until Greg gets out of school to get pregnant again. So that's like 3 years. I hate the idea, but I don't have a choice now do I? My eggs can't make a baby on their own... So that sucks for me!!
I "should" be starting at Nancys again soon, I quote "Should" because I have been told that since like April... I'm getting so sick of not being able to help pay for bills and food and all that. I clean Daddys house every other week and he gives me $20 but that doesn't really help anything. I'm going to have to cancel my doctors appointment again because I probably won't have the money for it by the 3rd since I still haven't started work yet... This is getting ridiculous.
I just teamed up with Josh and cleaned the house so no one else has to today. I had to make a chore list because everyone was bitching everytime they were told to clean something so now everyone has their own days where they do stuff. It's working really well. And occasionally, like today, someone will do all the work and every one else gets the "day off" so to speak... Anyway, I'm going to go play on Pogo.com
If you haven't played pogo before, you must go make an account, it's free. Unless you get Club Pogo like I have, which is much better. No ads and you win badges for each game you play and also get "jackpot" spins where you can actually win real money. I pay $5 a month or you can do $40 a year. Either way it's well worth the money. If you do decide to play pogo, add me as a friend, Nolie0804
Okay now that I've made myself sound like an ad agency trying to push pogo on people, I'm going to return to my beloved game site and play all day long. Since I have nothing else to do.
Happy Blogging, and hopefully Happy Pogo Playing! :)
Monday, May 24, 2010
Gross moment
I have been on the phone all morning calling places looking for a job...I found two places that are hiring, Pizza Hut (which I've already worked at and hated it) and this little clothes store here in town. (which is only hiring for Saturday and Sunday) So it looks like I'm screwed. I'll be starting at Nancys something around Memorial Day, so that's not too far away but I wanted something year round also. :(
I still haven't heard back from the lawyers office. Maybe I'm being blown off, who knows? I had to cancel my doctors appointment today, because Greg had to work so he couldn't bring me. Which sucks because I have this huge lump on my right wrist and it hurts like all hell when I move it. Greg said he thinks it might be a cist which is fine but it hurts and I want them to fix it. Plus my body is soooo achy and the meds aren't working anymore, so I needed this appointment. I have another one on June3rd, so hopefully I can make it to that one.
I haven't mentioned this before because it's embarrassing and gross but I'm going to say it now in hopes that someone has experienced it and can give me advice. It's been almost 9 weeks since we lost Elijah and since the day I gave birth I have had hemorrhoids. They're small but very painful, and on top of that one of my lovely symptoms of Fibromyalgia is constipation...That mixed with the hemorrhoids is a bad mixture because when I go it hurts because it's so hard and it also hurts because of the hemorrhoids. I have used the cream but it doesn't seem to be helping. I swear I need one of those doughnut things you sit on. :( Okay so I apologize for grossing you all out, but I need someone to tell me what to do here. I'm in agonizing pain everyday from this. I dread going to the bathroom.
Okay I'm done talking about that now, but seriously if anyone knows what I should do, let me know. lol
Happy Blogging!!
I still haven't heard back from the lawyers office. Maybe I'm being blown off, who knows? I had to cancel my doctors appointment today, because Greg had to work so he couldn't bring me. Which sucks because I have this huge lump on my right wrist and it hurts like all hell when I move it. Greg said he thinks it might be a cist which is fine but it hurts and I want them to fix it. Plus my body is soooo achy and the meds aren't working anymore, so I needed this appointment. I have another one on June3rd, so hopefully I can make it to that one.
I haven't mentioned this before because it's embarrassing and gross but I'm going to say it now in hopes that someone has experienced it and can give me advice. It's been almost 9 weeks since we lost Elijah and since the day I gave birth I have had hemorrhoids. They're small but very painful, and on top of that one of my lovely symptoms of Fibromyalgia is constipation...That mixed with the hemorrhoids is a bad mixture because when I go it hurts because it's so hard and it also hurts because of the hemorrhoids. I have used the cream but it doesn't seem to be helping. I swear I need one of those doughnut things you sit on. :( Okay so I apologize for grossing you all out, but I need someone to tell me what to do here. I'm in agonizing pain everyday from this. I dread going to the bathroom.
Okay I'm done talking about that now, but seriously if anyone knows what I should do, let me know. lol
Happy Blogging!!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
quick recap
I figured I'd give you all a quick recap of things. First, I still have no news from the law office. God, I hope we have a case. I really feel that they deserve to be embarrassed and feel like total and utter shit for what they have done. They deserve to feel the pain of knowing that they may have been able to prevent the death of a tiny little baby boy, someones son.
Don't worry I won't go on and on about how angry I am again, I know you're probably getting sick of it... I'll move on to the next point of recap. Secondly, Gregs diabetes is finally under control, his blood sugar is normal every day now. He hasn't gotten any headaches or anything. He's doing really good. He also will be starting school in the fall, I'm not sure if I've mentioned that or not...but he is.
And because of that...he won't be able to work much, so I will have to work. Meaning I can't get pregnant like I wanted to because I can't work while I'm pregnant. So I have to wait 3 years to have a baby...I hate it, it upsets me to no end, it kills me to think of waiting that long. But I don't have a choice, it's not about me now. It's about Greg, and Greg is going back to school. WHile I flip burgers and the nearest burger joint. We will be a great couple.
Okay maybe writing isn't such a good idea today, I woke up in this whole, self pity type of mood. So before I make you all hate me and think I'm the biggest whiner in the world, I'm going to go. I'll keep y'all posted on what happens with the lawyer and my placenta results.
Happy Blogging!!
Don't worry I won't go on and on about how angry I am again, I know you're probably getting sick of it... I'll move on to the next point of recap. Secondly, Gregs diabetes is finally under control, his blood sugar is normal every day now. He hasn't gotten any headaches or anything. He's doing really good. He also will be starting school in the fall, I'm not sure if I've mentioned that or not...but he is.
And because of that...he won't be able to work much, so I will have to work. Meaning I can't get pregnant like I wanted to because I can't work while I'm pregnant. So I have to wait 3 years to have a baby...I hate it, it upsets me to no end, it kills me to think of waiting that long. But I don't have a choice, it's not about me now. It's about Greg, and Greg is going back to school. WHile I flip burgers and the nearest burger joint. We will be a great couple.
Okay maybe writing isn't such a good idea today, I woke up in this whole, self pity type of mood. So before I make you all hate me and think I'm the biggest whiner in the world, I'm going to go. I'll keep y'all posted on what happens with the lawyer and my placenta results.
Happy Blogging!!
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