A poem for my boys

I love my unborn children,
That God took away from me.
I asked him why he did it,
and he replied "You see,
I did it for the ones you love,
the two that are now watching from above."

But why did you take my boys,
I do not understand.
"I did not take them from you dear,
They never left your side.
You'll see them once again, my dear.
At heavens gates they'll cry,
'I love you Mommy, welcome home.' and whisper in your ear,
'I missed you Mommy, where have you been?
We've been waiting here for years.'

You'll walk to them both standing there,
tears filling all your eyes.
You'll grab your boys and cry in joy,
There will never be another goodbye.

You'll kiss your kids upon the cheek
and grab their tiny hands.
You'll never have to cry again,
You've come to the promise land."

This morning started off badly, I had barely any coffee left in the pot, my coffee cup was dirty because someone used it, there was garbage on the kitchen floor because the dogs got into it and I forgot to do the dishes last night so the kitchen was a mess. And then for some reason I got a sudden rush of sadness and wanted to write something for the babies. So I wrote that poem.

It's nothing special, but it's from my heart. It's what I think will happen when I finally get to see them again. Both my beautiful boys hugging me and talking to me. I don't want to die, but I'm not afraid of it anymore. I don't know why but I feel a little better right now after writing that poem. Like those words really did come from God...I know it sounds strange, but I believe those were his words. Like he was telling me that I WILL see them again.

I haven't been angry with him for awhile, but I have still questioned him. And now, I know there are no answers for why he took Adrian and Elijah from me. It's just something that was meant to be. I know one day I'll have a child that will make it, but they will never take the place of the two before them. And I'll tell my child of their two brothers that passed away.

I don't really have much else to say at the moment. I'm still in rhyming mode in my head so I think I might write some more. But until I write again, think happy thoughts and don't take anything for granted.